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Zurich's "Profitable Growth": More Like "Profitable PR," If You Ask Me
Okay, so Zurich Insurance Group is patting itself on the back for "stronger third-quarter results" and some vague strategy to "improve efficiency, cut risk, and lift returns." Give me a break. This is corporate bingo at its finest.
What's that even mean?
The Usual Song and Dance
They’re "doubling down on profitable growth and risk management." I swear, these guys have a thesaurus dedicated solely to buzzwords. It's like they think if they say "profitable" enough times, we'll all forget that insurance is basically a legalized gamble where they win no matter what.
Improved attritional loss ratio? That's code for "we're squeezing policyholders harder than ever." And expanding profit margins in commercial insurance by focusing on specialty and mid-market clients? Translation: "We found a new way to milk businesses that don't have the resources to fight back."
Premium prices are climbing in motor and home segments, boosting revenues further. Well, no freakin' duh! Inflation is hitting everyone, and insurance companies are always the first to pass the buck. It's highway robbery, plain and simple.
Berenberg likes Zurich’s shift to higher-quality, lower-risk business. Oh, Berenberg likes it? Well, that settles it then. I mean, when has a Wall Street analyst ever steered us wrong?
Plans to offload a $20 billion legacy life insurance book in Germany? So, they're dumping their old, less profitable stuff to make the numbers look better. Classic.
What Are They Hiding?
Strategy day on November 18th. Big whoop. Expect a lot of slick presentations, pie charts, and promises that’ll be broken before the ink is dry.
Here's the thing: Investors are suckers for this kind of stuff. "Oh, look, they're focusing on retail and mid-market clients! So stable! So predictable!" Yeah, predictable alright. Predictably screwing over the little guy.
And this whole "insurers chase efficiency and resilience" narrative? It's a global trend, alright – a trend of consolidating power and squeezing every last penny out of the system. It's the financial equivalent of strip-mining the earth.
But wait, what about the actual people who rely on these insurance policies? Do they get a say in this grand strategy to "boost earnings consistency and long-term growth?" Offcourse not. They're just numbers on a spreadsheet.
I'm starting to think that maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe I'm just too cynical. But then I remember all the fine print, all the loopholes, all the times I've been screwed over by these companies, and I realize... no, I'm not crazy. They are.
This Whole Thing Stinks
Seriously, this is just corporate garbage dressed up as good news. They expect us to swallow this nonsense, and honestly...
It ain't gonna happen.